How do you toss aside something that has been an integral part of your life for so many years,How do you stop remembering?
Always afraid of being caught off guard by sights, sounds or smells
Bringing back glimpses of memories past.
How do you forget the one you loved, the life you forged together?
To now walk the path alone with no one by your side --
How do you do it? How do you shut the door?
How do you move forward alone?
Stop, I scream.
This is too hard, I cannot do it.
Please don't close the door, I want to remember.
And yet the pain is too great, the sorrow too enveloping.
The loneliness and tears encompass me, I must forget.
I must move on lest it destroy me.
Move on, don't look back, stop longing for that which is gone.
Joy is ahead, there is only pain behind, I say to myself.
And yet, my heart tells me that there was joy there, too.
Aching to believe that she mattered, that he cared.
Needing to believe the promise sincere and the vow heartfelt,
That it was true love for evermore.
How do you move on
Leaving behind the one you loved,
The memories you created together?
How do you let go of part of your life
And say it doesn't belong any longer?
I
do not know...For my heart is not ready to let go,
Not ready to forget the happy times:
The tender touch, the cry of a baby born,
The sparkle in his eye or the comfort of his arms around me.
Today I shall leave the door open
For I am not ready to forget.
Maybe tomorrow it will be easier to box up the memories and put them away
But today I shall remember.
I will bask in the memories of laughter and happiness,
The playful moments we shared together,
Grateful for the time we did have
For the life we created together
For the moments we shared.
I will let the tears flow freely in the quiet of my room.
Maybe it will be easier to close the door tomorrow.
©2009 Marie Calder Ricks/www.houseoforder.com. (Photography by David N. Ricks. Used with permission.)
